Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you never un-have a 4some
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
