Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish i was in the wii world.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
