Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
