Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
