Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
