its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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