Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
