"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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