If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
