No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
