please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
