is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
