Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
