Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just high enough for therapy.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize