I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
