Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
