i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
there is glitter all over my balls
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
