ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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