Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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