He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
