i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
