If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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