I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
