K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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