Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
