And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
