I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
