oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
