i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
