The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
