Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
