Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize