Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
