Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
