Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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