I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize