I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
