party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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