look no pants
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
