I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
