I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
