You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
