I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
