Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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