fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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