you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
