My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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