my phone needs a breathalizer
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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