i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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