I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
