Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sponge bath it is.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
