I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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