They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
