And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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