Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Houston, we have a blender
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
