my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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