Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize