That's when you crack a 10am beer
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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