just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
