His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
