It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The uberlube is also flammable
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
