whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
